Vital Signs of Chivalry

I was reading this article the other day (read here), and it kind of made me sad. Their panel of professional women were given scenarios of general chivalrous behavior and asked what they would prefer. Most of them said they didn't want the help. Is this common? And why is this?

Chivalry is a big part of who we are in the SCA. To suggest it is dead, is really interesting to me. Is it dead, and why is it? Is it not needed anymore and has society evolved to the point where you are taught that you can't rely on anyone but yourself? Or that you should only look out for yourself?

I admit, Chivalry is hard sometimes in today's society. Trying to be courteous can get you into trouble sometimes. I held the door open for a lady at work the other day when it was chilly, and she was several feet behind me. She sighed, hurried her pace and said "thanks" is an exasperated tone. What did I do? She was a ways away so I assume she was upset she had to rush. I never asked her to rush. If I wasn't ok waiting for her, I wouldn't of held the door. And because of her reaction, generally people are not going to be inclinded to do it again if it isn't appreciated. Maybe that's why Chivalry is dead or dying.

But is it the men or women to blame? Men don't do chivalrous things as often anymore, and more and more women don't appreciate it. It is a vicious cycle. But how do we correct it? Or can we? If men are more chivalrous, will that help? Not if it isn't appreciated. If women appreciate it more often, will men be more chivalrous? I would doubt it. History would lead them to believe to not bother.

So what should we do? I can't speak for everyone obviously, but do we continue down this trend and just throw Chivalry aside and concentrate on doing things for yourself? Or do we keep on trying to live up to the ideals of being nice to people, and helping them out whenever possible? The obvious choice for me is the latter, but it is also the most difficult.

I know not many people read this blog, but if you do, I just ask that you keep the idea of Chivalry in mind as you go about your day. Open yourself to see others. And then remind someone else. Actions speak louder than words most often.

I'm sorry, I did not intend this to be a freakin' Hallmark card. I really don't know how to end this train of thought. So I'm just going to end it by saying that not everything is about you. There are other people out there just like you. Have fun and play nice with each other.